I can change reality by denying it!
Date: Sunday, February 03 @ 11:24:28 EST
Topic: Customers Suck
I have had more than my fair share of stupid customers, meaning I've encountered some prime examples of sheer idiocy that I must share with the world. This story is one of my favorites, and I swear to you I'm not making this up.
A few years ago, I was employed at a small gift-and-book-shop, and for the most part I enjoyed my work--except for the fact that the store attracted crazy people the way spilled soda attracts bees. One day, I was alone on the floor when one of said crazy people approached me.
"I want to find a certain book by So-and-So," she said.
I pulled up our handy-dandy distributor database, asked for the title, and saw that we had it in stock. I showed it to her on the shelf.
"Oh, this will never do," she insisted. "It's much too expensive. Why is it so expensive?"
"Well, ma'am, this is a hardcover book, and they're normally a little pricey," I explained. "But it is the book you asked for."
"Don't you have it in paperback?"
"Yes, it's right over here." I pulled it from another shelf and gave it to her.
She flipped it over and saw the price on the back. "This is expensive too! Don't you have it in a smaller size?"
I blinked. "...no... that's the only paperback edition of the book in print."
"But it's $12.99!" she snapped, jabbing her finger at the price. "I don't want to pay that much for the book! A smaller size would be cheaper, wouldn't it?"
"That's not the point," I said. "There isn't a smaller size. But isn't $12.99 in paperback a much better price than $26.99 for hardcover?"
She glared at me. "I want it in a smaller size!"
"Ma'am, come with me for a moment," I said, leading her back to the computer. I pulled up the book's information again and pointed to the screen. "This is information directly from the publisher. This is the smallest size of the book in print, and the cheapest."
"But it's bigger than the other paperbacks on the shelf!" she snarled, gesturing back to the aisle we'd come from. "And the other books cost $7.99. I want to pay $7.99 instead of $12.99. Can't you order the smaller size for me?"
"Ma'am!" I cried, exasperated. "There isn't a smaller size! The price is $12.99. Take it or leave it."
She glared at me. "I bet one of the larger bookstores will order the smaller size for me!" And with that, she slammed the paperback on the counter as hard as she could and marched out of the store, stomping her feet and slamming the door behind her.